HotFail

‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field’
Metro Radio

“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer.”
David Acfield, cricketer and champion fencer

“What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in football?”
Stuart Hall – Radio 5 live

“And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.”
David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics

“One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them…..Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!”
US PGA Commentator

“For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is behind the brown.”
Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator

“That’s what I call an optimist, standing still and shooting from 43.5 meters.”
Ivar Hoff, Norwegian football commentator

“Some times in football you need to score a goal.”
Thierry Henry, Barcelona footballer

“He uses his strength, and that’s his strength, his strength.”
Kevin Keegan, football legend

“Attack is the best form of defence. Isn’t that written somewhere, is it the Bible?”
Petur Marteinsson, Icelandic football player

“Too much football on television? My reply is: Are there too many books in the library?”
Arne Scheie, Norwegian sports commentary legend

“They play 4-4-1-1-1.”
Frank Stapleton, former Arsenal and Manchester United player

“Zola has two feet.”
David Pleat, former football player, manager and commentator

“And now for the second episode of the football match”
Norwegian news broadcaster

“Here comes Uschi Disl. She has been a border patrol guard, so she’s used to firing at refugees.”
Jon Herwig Carlsen, Norwegian biathlon commentator

“And it’s 2-0! Almost identical to the first one!”
Norwegian football commentator Øyvind Johnsen, commentating on the replay of the first goal

“Everything but a victory or a draw versus Finland would be a loss for the Norwegian team.”
Norwegian newspaper Dagbladet with an impressive analysis

Also see: Part #3 – Part #1

‘If it had gone in, it would have been a goal’
- BARRY DAVIES – British sports commentator 

‘Ian Rush is deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn’t one of them.’
- PETER JONES - former sports commentator

‘There’s 30 minutes gone and we’re in the first quarter of the game.’
- JON CHAMPION - sports commentator

‘The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related.’
- GEORGE HAMILTON – Irish football commentator

‘It’s a tough month for Liverpool over the next five or six weeks.’
- ALAN GREEN - BBC sports commentator

‘It’s Brazil 2 Scotland 1, so Scotland are back where they were at the start of the match’
- BARRY DAVIES

‘Three of his four goals have come from the substitute’s bench.’
- MARTIN TYLER - football commentator legend

’1-0 is not a winning score, by any means’
- IAN HALL – cricketer and footballer

‘Paul Scholes with four players in front of him – five if you count Gary Neville’
- DARRAGH MOLONEY – sports commentator

‘Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it.’
- IAN DARKE – football and boxing commentator

“He is a fucking lazy big nigger”
Ron Atkinson (football coach) about Marcel Desailly

“Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious.”
Alan Minter – BBC sports commentator

“Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him.”
New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted

 “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”
Ted Walsh, horse racing commentator

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”
Winston Bennett – retired American basketball player

“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical.”
Murray Walker – F1 racing commentator

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother.”
Greg Norman – Australian golfer

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
Terry Venables – Soccer Coach

“I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.”
Ron Atkinson – soccer coach

“Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.”
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977

Also see: Part #3 - Part #2